Communication Key to NLL Success

Over the 10 years that I coached collegiate lacrosse, 6 of those years were with Division 1 Women’s Teams. For 5 years I was a volunteer assistant at Loyola College under the late Diane Geppi-Aikens. She had had a couple run-ins with brain cancer before I ever met her, which I understand changed not only her outlook on life but also her coaching style. I learned a lot from that experience. One was the sense of family she created among her team. The other was the importance of communication. When there was an issue affecting the team, we would sit down for a “circle talk” and address the problem at hand.

Guys’ teams often try to play through and ignore issues that may be affecting their on-field performance or locker room chemistry. Having grown up in a family that often did not address the difficult interpersonal topics, it was a great learning experience for me. When problems go unaddressed, they fester and eventually manifest themselves in other areas. It is amazing how simply hearing another person’s perspective can break down barriers and bring you closer together.

I am fortunate to have had some great coaches along with some that weren’t so great. One of the important steps in developing your own coaching style is to look back at the coaches you’ve had and analyze what you liked and didn’t like about each. What techniques were effective? What about them did you respect? What attitudes and behaviors made you lose respect for them? Communication style is a big one, and for me one of the biggest challenges of being a head coach.

I had a coach once that seemed like a real nice guy. He was positive. He was supportive. But he had a problem being honest with players when that honesty meant having the “difficult discussion.” Over time I lost respect for him along with many of my teammates. As tough as it is to hear “you’re not dressing this week because …,” over time you appreciate his words if they were honest and he gave you feedback on how to get back in the line-up.

We have all had the old-school coach who only seems to communicate when you do something wrong. I have to admit that I respond to that. When people doubt me it motivates me to do better. But even though punishment and being doubted motivate me, they also tend to produce contempt. I have always opposed the use of fear in motivating players. If you don’t respect your players and they don’t respect you … what’s the point?

My Master’s Thesis at Connecticut College was basically an attempt to explain Bobby Knight. In Sports Psychology studies, Positive Reinforcement and a supportive environment are purported to be the most effective tools in coaching. However, Bobby Knight has had what many would consider a successful career using tactics such as punishment, mental and even physical abuse. What gives?

In the case of Bobby Knight, he must find players that respond to his personality type. I also assume that he develops a relationship with his players over the course of the season at practice and behind closed doors. I think we all respond to people that are genuinely passionate about the game. However, what is considered acceptable coaching behavior has changed a bit from what it once was.

We respect people who treat us fairly. We respect people who care for us more than just being able to win them a game. But the one trait that permeates this all is communication. I know how important it is and as tough as some conversations are to have. I am motivated to have them because I know how critical being honest with the people you live and work with is.