The Gift of Self Confidence

When I was younger I looked to lacrosse and sports in general as a way to define myself and build my self confidence. Somewhere in the back of my mind I believed that beating my opponent meant I was better than them. It's an immature motivation, but powerful just the same.

Success in lacrosse can fuel the ego. And for some that is why they play. Like an offensive player so focused on scoring goals and personal success that they become less concerned with what's good for the team. Fortunately as I got older, team success took precedence over personal accolades and I experienced the unshakable confidence that comes from dedicating yourself to the common good.

The greatest gift lacrosse has given me is the belief in myself. I have learned over the years that if I am willing to put in the work, I can achieve my goals. I have developed a system that transcends sport. It involves creating a plan and then devoting myself wholeheartedly to it until I succeed. It incorporates lessons learned during my playing days.

I am not alone. The proliferation of self help books written by successful coaches supports this notion. Principles that work in sport work in other endeavors. Back in 2003 I embarked on a DVD project. The idea was to pass on some of the lessons I have learned in lacrosse. My background is in psychology. Much of my undergraduate and graduate work focused on self-confidence and performance and other sports related topics. Kids today have a ton of opportunities to learn the game by attending camps, watching videos, etc. They are taught the skills, but where can they go to learn the importance of working with their team and believing in themselves? What can they do to help themselves out of a slump?

At times I suffer from what I like to call Optimistic Naivete. I think I am good at most things and can succeed at anything I put my mind to. Well, it usually works out, but in the case of this DVD project, my beliefs were put to the test.

It turned out to be one of the hardest things I have ever done! What I thought was going to take 6 months lasted 3 ½ years! I am fortunate that my production team consisted of two of my best friends Jessica Brown and Larry McCrudden. They believed in what I was trying to do and stuck with me throughout the whole ordeal. What we ended up with was something we are all proud of. It is a story meant to motivate and inspire, very unlike anything out there. It is more like a skateboarding or surf video, and touches on the spirituality of the game and the importance of the attitude and energy you bring to it. It was amazing how the very ideals of working together as a team and overcoming adversity were put to the test during the making of it. It was a bit of a reality check, but ultimately it reinforced my belief in determination and hard work.